Inner Calm Can’t

There is a place where I can go and nothing follows me.
Most of the time this place is a horrid quagmire of conflict and doubt.
Hilariously enough brought on by my inability to react to those that,
ultimately cannot touch me in this place.
Though at times it is a tranquil shallow pool.
When I am fully submerged even the terrible self inflicted miasma cannot touch me.
Like a cloud of hornets in a cartoon that becomes confused as to my whereabouts.
Giving up the search after a period of time.
So why can I not find this oasis all of the time?
What is it about my own inner calm that, for much of the time, cannot be calm?

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