Sometimes it is more useful to turn the hyperbolic language in on oneself.

Everyone is horrible, and when one admits to themselves that they are horrible life becomes more honest, and adaptation becomes a much easier process.

There seems to be this notion to many people that they are somehow intrinsically good or right, but this simply is not the case. Each individual agent as they are themselves is in contention with all other agents they will interact with. It is only just to varying levels. I say they are in contention in that it is only until order introduced, often in the guise of sympathy for humans or some other form of understanding, are most beings more than crabs in a barrel at best and cannibalistic at worst.

This is why sympathy is so misleading. It is an honest effort for survival within a social context, but you can never penetrate the experience of the other. The best is an approximation based on your experience, which is not only a dangerous thing that cannot be verified, but is also given to ones individual biases ultimately to be projected onto others encountered.

So what does this come to? If one is a bigot, and in this purely the lack of tolerance and understanding of ones supposed superiority over all others, they should just own up to it, for it is an inevitability. To clarify it is not to meant that intolerant actions should be accepted as whole socially, but rather one should be honest with themselves about their intolerance and superiority complexes. After becoming aware and owning it if there is still a turmoil and am uneasiness of the sustainability of a hard and fast identity within a changing social framework, than the obvious course is to address that particular terribleness about oneself and adjust ones identity.

For instance I know I’m a horrible person, this is and the meaninglessness of life are inescapable truths I have come to terms with. I am racist and classist, and probably some other –ists that I have yet to encounter. However instead of making attempts to defend myself at every altercation in some vain attempt to put myself in the right, I acknowledge that I am terrible and for the sake of survival I may have to adapt to the existence of individuals or collectives that I view in a less than ideal light, when the light is turned around on me.

This is not to say one should simply alter their identity at any complication, but the automatic defensiveness that comes with pride and the belief of the right self makes adjustments in life rather difficult.

I’m horrible, and so is each and every person on the planet. The human condition is not one saved by divine justice, but rather liberated through the realization of the impartial nature of the universe and the moderated selfish isolation one must maintain simply to survive.

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Outer pessimism and cynicism (though not vindictiveness) are fine, as long as one maintains inner optimism and critical thinking. Not all optimistic views are compatible or need to be shared.

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It is best to take life in a slow, contemplative, wary manner. This is best achieved by living life in a perpetual hang over.

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Adulthood is a vague lie at best, social contracts and conventions are restraining illusions. Never let the dream die.

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The point of understanding all of the cultural illusions and constructs is not to ultimately favor some kind of base instinct, but rather to appreciate the possible social evolution that humanity is capable of.

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While there are virtues that appear to be timeless, values of the old guard should not automatically be assumed as correct simply because they have existed for an amount of time more than those that have popped up to challenge them.

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Place Between Human and Reality

Its not quite an edge.
Something defined by the walls
On either side.
One wall emanates a warm soulful glow
The other wall, a a harsh sterile surface.
This place in between is not
Characteristic of either of it boundaries.
In a way it is easier to be recognized as dissonance.
This space has a populace
A people who wander around with faces covered
Shielded from the glow which has an uncertainty about
Shielded from the harshness which is much too real.
When up against a wall some pass through either boundary.
Though many would rather wallow in this
Never acknowledging those within or without the space
With covered faces unable to even acknowledge themselves
This space defined by boundaries it shares no characteristics of
Is populated by those who prefer the agonizing dissonance.

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The Worry Of Buying In Wholesale

At what point should one worry that one has bought wholesale into their self created illusions. That some attempt conscious rebellion has become a dogma that is worn only for itself and purely out of familiarity.
Something akin to a soldier fighting for a cause for many years. Only to one day lift their head from the haze of battle and realize that there is no more cause, and the fighting is simply for the sake of fighting. Perhaps these illusions are not something so simple and dramatic, but there is still a worry. Though, it could also be the worry is a sign that the awareness is still there. This awareness may be the only thing keeping the illusion from becoming some meaningless action or phrase, used just out of habit.
Or, in a more pessimistic view, the worry may come because the illusions are in to great of a conflict with reality. No longer transparent, becoming awkward and ineffective. The worry may have been built in, so at a level of deep contemplation that the illusions have little meaning or effect, conceived by a mind that was grasping at efficacy.

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Holiday Gauntlet

Wrote this a bit ago, but never really got around to posting it.  So why not now that it’s in the middle?




[New Years]

While I do enjoy time that I am not forced to put my interests aside and produce some kind of “practical work”, during this time of the year it all seems to come at a price.  And often that price is not even a direct benefit of the kind previously mentioned.  I am talking about the fall to early winter holiday gauntlet.

This is of course a problem that is unique to my situation, but that does not make it any less irritating.  There are four main offenders which I will briefly account as to why I would rather them be kept out of my awareness.



So this one is the extremely irritating because such a big deal is made out of it, and there aren’t even days off associated with it.  The primary problem is one of personal identity.  It seems the main allure to Halloween is to be given a time period where one can assume the identity of something they are not.  It seems such a focus on this would suggest that the identity that one has the rest of the year around has not been explored thoroughly enough to deter the needs for being something else.  Even in the argument of curiosity, that could be reserved for meaningful thought experiments.  On a secondary note this sanctioned assumed identity also comes with the principle that as being not ones true identity there is an exemption from following standard manners that most set for themselves.  No need to elaborate but during this time, chaos ensues out of disorder.  Which I suppose as a nihilist I can slightly endorse.



Let’s be literal here.  It is a time to give things to all that has been given to individuals in their current existence.  But there are all kinds of problems with this.  Who is one giving thanks to, if it’s a deity then those objections are self-evident coming from the kind of person I am known to be.  However, is it just thankfulness in general?  Does this thankfulness imply some kind of world where everything could be worse?  The problem is there is not a world where things are worse.  The misery that is conscious human awareness aside, what proof is there to show that some other world exists where an individual’s existence has not resulted in the aggregate toward the best outcomes? Though I will excuse, in the name of selfishness that this thankfulness really can only extend to the individual without considering the consequences of their actions upon society as a whole. By this I mean, in environments of limited resources (kind of like natives against explorers on conquest…hint hint), perhaps the things that have been bestowed upon an individual or their community is at the detriment of those excluded from the circle of thanks.  That being said, and going back to the earlier point the thankfulness of those realities that are not this one.



Christ, suspect.  Christ’s birthday, not even canonical. Let’s move on to the spirit and the consumerism.  The spirit is to help bring joy to humanity.  I am not responsible for humanities joy, any more than it is responsible for mine.  Society is a framework for allowing survival and development.  So the gift giving, that doesn’t even make sense from a resource stand point.  Unless all of it were financially and emotionally equal, and at that point what is even the need for the exchange (unless it was a purely emotional exchange, which brings back the angle of responsibility). Of course there is the supposed fun that is associated with the whole lore of various cobbled cultural icons. Speaking frankly and specifically about Santa Clause, how could one not want to depart from any kind of adoration of how this magical being comes to be known?  Particularly, as it is introduced as children through basically a ubiquitously agreed on principle that is acceptable to lie to children until they reach an age where they can discover the fiction of their own devices. Though it is an interesting case sometimes of who is fooling whom.  As it often eventually comes to the cross road of those being deceived are now being the deceivers, because they want to indulge those that were deceiving in the first place.


New Years

It’s not about the possible arbitrary decision as to which day specifically constitutes the New Year.   Or even at this point the fact that our society, as driven by capital as it is, seems like it should follow the fiscal division of the year.  No, it’s about it being a time of celebration and wiping the slate clean.  As much as this society is seems to thrive on nostalgia, it’s no wonder everyone cannot wait to put things behind them so that they can live in the memory, edited away from reality.  While I do embrace what will be I am in no hurry to brush what has been under the rug.  There are also pockets of just utter disdain for previous events, with the horrific lie to oneself “It will get better next year.” It never gets better, nothing gets better.  Individuals just find different things to be upset about.  New Year’s should be the one time that everyone is given a week off, to mourn and reflect upon the previous events of the year, so perhaps they can ready themselves for the unseen terrors to come.

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There is humor in pictures of animals displaying cross species acceptance and affection.  It takes a truly pretentious animal to have to see this pointed out as a phenomenon, while they treat different races of their own species as a sub species to hold contempt against.

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