Afraid To Play My Game

So as an extremely self centered person I always try to think about myself first. Right now my feed is split. Pokemon Go, and the news of black men being shot and the protests. So I have to consider how both are affecting me. As many of you know, I love Pokemon, it is probably one of my favorite franchises. If you looked at my search history it’s probably an even mix of bulbapedia/seribii/smogon searches and unmentionable porn. My luchador pikachu is one of the few possessions in my life that I would be sad if I lost. I would rather spend my nights grinding levels and breeding to get EV’s than…i don’t know whatever normal people do.
Now many of you know that I have had a couple stories about how I have had run in with cops. Not for anything I have done, but for the fact that I probably was being black in the wrong time at the wrong place (one anecdote involves cops finding it how humorous at how much them stopping me was terrifying).
So why am I afraid to play my game? Because the new Pokemon Go game rewards people for wandering around at all hours. As a big black by appearance male (who fits the profile of many of those that have been lost to senseless police violence in the past years) I’m very wary of accidentally going to a pokespot and ending up in a neighborhood that I might be reported as a suspicious person.
Now most people who know me, know I’m pretty nihilistic and fatalistic so I realize that death is an inevitability. But there is a certain point my survival instinct does take over and I just can’t enjoy the exploration point of it.
I understand that this is based paranoia and I have no proof that what I fear may happen. However, that’s not the point. The point of it all is for people who (not unreasonably) believe in the police, but there are those of use who have lived lives where the police have not shown themselves as a bastion of safety, but a collective to be constantly wary of.
Seriously, I just want to play Pokemon Go.

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