The Worry Of Buying In Wholesale
At what point should one worry that one has bought wholesale into their self created illusions. That some attempt conscious rebellion has become a dogma that is worn only for itself and purely out of familiarity. Something akin to a soldier fighting for a cause for many years. Only to one day lift their head […]
Holiday Gauntlet
Wrote this a bit ago, but never really got around to posting it. So why not now that it’s in the middle? [Halloween] [Thanksgiving] [Christmas] [New Years] While I do enjoy time that I am not forced to put my interests aside and produce some kind of “practical work”, during this time of the year […]
Unraveling
Pride, responsibility, sympathy. These are things that I’m not particularly interested in. What is it to choose to avoid problems rather than confront them? What is it to change your system of values when the current system is a constant uphill battle? The universe continues to unravel at a steady pace regardless of what the […]
a solipsists regret
I saw you waiting for the bus one day. I wished to talk to you but the crowd, the stops and starts it did not happen I’m dying you know really dying actually I know you’ll never read this. i’m a solipsist after all when it’s over for me it’s over
Is There A Problem
It’s fine. Isn’t it? It’s all fine. My only problem is, that I have a problem. That’s my motto, my credo. I would dishonest to myself if I didn’t say, It always persisted in my the back of my mind. And with it. Is the thought of what, my real problem is. It, is […]
Old Stream of Conscious Note 1
#1 I am warm with fear I sweat a viscous unnameable thing that might closely identify as death. My jaw painfully locks, which is a slight reprieve from its constant nervous chattering. The heat from my terrorized brain melts solid ice at a distance. I have been here too long. The hot fearful beast longs […]
Selected (Coherent…ish) Notes from California July 17- 21 2014
What is this this existential anxiety that I appear to be experiencing at the mere prospect of going to a fundamentally unfamiliar space. Perhaps it stems from my desire to always return to the point of my origin. Which is not some fanciful Mecca based on my birth. Rather a place that I have marked […]
How Moral?
Amorality and nihilism from self hatred. Conserved emotions and moral compass only exist as a means of survival.
Nihilism Is For Lazy People
In so many ways nihilism makes life so much more simple to navigate. If nothing else than that the burdens of culture and duty appear absurd, preferably ignored. Though in that respect there is also difficulty due to the assumption of others that one must prescribe to and intend to honor their particular social pact. […]
Irresponsible, and always Ready to Party
It is not that the people I envision as those normal and reasonable cannot comprehend or deal with my particular lifestyle and outlook, but rather have come to a point in their lives where the notion of such a lifestyle does not seem maintainable. So I must continue not only for my own selfishness but also so I do […]