Category Archives: Self

The Worry Of Buying In Wholesale

At what point should one worry that one has bought wholesale into their self created illusions. That some attempt conscious rebellion has become a dogma that is worn only for itself and purely out of familiarity. Something akin to a … Continue reading

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Holiday Gauntlet

Wrote this a bit ago, but never really got around to posting it.  So why not now that it’s in the middle? [Halloween] [Thanksgiving] [Christmas] [New Years] While I do enjoy time that I am not forced to put my … Continue reading

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Unraveling

Pride, responsibility, sympathy.  These are things that I’m not particularly interested in. What is it to choose to avoid problems rather than confront them?  What is it to change your system of values when the current system is a constant … Continue reading

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a solipsists regret

I saw you waiting for the bus one day. I wished to talk to you but the crowd, the stops and starts it did not happen I’m dying you know really dying actually I know you’ll never read this. i’m … Continue reading

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Is There A Problem

It’s fine. Isn’t it?   It’s all fine. My only problem is, that I have a problem. That’s my motto, my credo. I would dishonest to myself if I didn’t say, It always persisted in my the back of my … Continue reading

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Old Stream of Conscious Note 1

#1 I am warm with fear I sweat a viscous unnameable thing that might closely identify as death.  My jaw painfully locks, which is a slight reprieve from its constant nervous chattering.  The heat from my terrorized brain melts solid … Continue reading

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Selected (Coherent…ish) Notes from California July 17- 21 2014

What is this this existential anxiety that I appear to be experiencing at the mere prospect of going to a fundamentally unfamiliar space. Perhaps it stems from my desire to always return to the point of my origin. Which is … Continue reading

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How Moral?

Amorality and nihilism from self hatred. Conserved emotions and moral compass only exist as a means of survival.

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Nihilism Is For Lazy People

In so many ways nihilism makes life so much more simple to navigate. If nothing else than that the burdens of culture and duty appear absurd, preferably ignored. Though in that respect there is also difficulty due to the assumption … Continue reading

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Irresponsible, and always Ready to Party

It is not that the people I envision as those normal and reasonable cannot comprehend or deal with my particular lifestyle and outlook, but rather have come to a point in their lives where the notion of such a lifestyle does not … Continue reading

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