Inner Calm Can’t
There is a place where I can go and nothing follows me. Most of the time this place is a horrid quagmire of conflict and doubt. Hilariously enough brought on by my inability to react to those that, ultimately cannot touch me in this place. Though at times it is a tranquil shallow pool. When […]
Horrible
Sometimes it is more useful to turn the hyperbolic language in on oneself. Everyone is horrible, and when one admits to themselves that they are horrible life becomes more honest, and adaptation becomes a much easier process. There seems to be this notion to many people that they are somehow intrinsically good or right, but […]
The Worry Of Buying In Wholesale
At what point should one worry that one has bought wholesale into their self created illusions. That some attempt conscious rebellion has become a dogma that is worn only for itself and purely out of familiarity. Something akin to a soldier fighting for a cause for many years. Only to one day lift their head […]
Unraveling
Pride, responsibility, sympathy. These are things that I’m not particularly interested in. What is it to choose to avoid problems rather than confront them? What is it to change your system of values when the current system is a constant uphill battle? The universe continues to unravel at a steady pace regardless of what the […]
Is There A Problem
It’s fine. Isn’t it? It’s all fine. My only problem is, that I have a problem. That’s my motto, my credo. I would dishonest to myself if I didn’t say, It always persisted in my the back of my mind. And with it. Is the thought of what, my real problem is. It, is […]
Old Stream of Conscious Note 1
#1 I am warm with fear I sweat a viscous unnameable thing that might closely identify as death. My jaw painfully locks, which is a slight reprieve from its constant nervous chattering. The heat from my terrorized brain melts solid ice at a distance. I have been here too long. The hot fearful beast longs […]
Selected (Coherent…ish) Notes from California July 17- 21 2014
What is this this existential anxiety that I appear to be experiencing at the mere prospect of going to a fundamentally unfamiliar space. Perhaps it stems from my desire to always return to the point of my origin. Which is not some fanciful Mecca based on my birth. Rather a place that I have marked […]
In Relation to the world cup
Why I am not into sports. Entertainment serves many purpose for conscious beings. Especially self aware ones. One of the purposes can be a form of escape. It allows one to, in a way, remove themselves from the everyday misery that is, in our case , what it is to be human. One of these […]